Laughing and smiling
what else can i do
but hide how i feel
about life and about you

my smile is my frown 
i know it wont fail me
but once it all builds up inside
i burst and i go crazy

my laughter are my tears
it leaves no wrinkles on my face
it brings no tears on my pillows
but the sadness is all i embrace

a sparkle from my teeth
is a drop of my tear
and behind those smiles
all i hide are my sadness and fear

fear of one day losing it
and reveal the true me
the sad little girl
that everyone will see

but if you really knew me
and say im a close friend
you'd know my tears i'd hide
up to the day the world comes to an end


my smile

i hide my fears behind my smile 
knowing that i'm in denial
 i know that i'm insecure
 i am just not sure 
my morbid life
 is black and white
 and i will not put up a fight
 it's suicide
 without a guide
 it's torture
 and martyrdom
 but it's not like i'm calm
 and not like i'm alright 
and the future is not bright 


one step backward,should i?

Assalamualaikum, dan selamat sejahtera

Not only sands and gravels
Were once more on their travels,
But gulping muddy gallons
Great boulders off their balance
Bumped heads together dully
And started down the gully.
Whole capes caked off in slices.
I felt my standpoint shaken
In the universal crisis.
But with one step backward taken
I saved myself from going.
A world torn loose went by me.
Then the rain stopped and the blowing
And the sun came out to dry me.

Robert Frost~

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